Articles

Scott Hamilton Gets Roasted

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Susan D. Russell
Scott Hamilton

Excerpt from the original article published in IFS August 2006.

When Christopher Dean called and asked Scott Hamilton if he would consider being a part of the World Figure Skating Museum and Hall of Fame fundraising efforts at a gala event in Orlando, Florida, he readily agreed.

“It is a great thing to be involved in the history of sport,” Hamilton said. “They thought a roast might be interesting and I was a good first candidate. If you can't make fun of me you can't make fun of anyone.”

Among the "roasters" were Dick Button, Kristi Yamaguchi and Doug Wilson. Here is what Steven Cousins and Bruce Jenner had to say.

STEVEN COUSINS

I am doubly nervous. When I first got told to come to this, I was told it was a roast and Scott Hamilton’s going to be there.

I know there are a lot of commercials in the States so I have a sponsor. (He produced a can of Budweiser). There were two but I got thirsty.

After every single Stars show the first thing Scott did when he went to a bar is have an ice cold Budweiser. That's it. That's all. Except for sometimes, to go with his exemplary diet habits, he would have a pepperoni pizza to go with his Budweiser.

One time he really got me – it was in Washington and we went to a place where they have these things called ‘Dog Bones.' They are pretty big and kind of full of liquor. You drink them through straws. I'm British. I did not know. I really didn't. So after one or two I start chugging them. After the 5th one, it’s time to go home.

Scott thinks it’s really funny to give Kurt Browning a call at 2 o'clock in the morning. During the conversation Kurt asks what's that noise in the background? Scott says, ‘Oh that's Steven throwing up.’

The 1998 Olympic Games in Nagano came back to haunt me. In my short program, I landed my triple Axel [much laughter], landed my next jump the triple flip, squeaked out the Lutz. I ran off the ice I was so excited. Saw my marks – I came 6th. Scott came up and I said, “I can't believe it! I can't believe that I hit everything! I can’t believe it!

Scott said: ‘I heard it.’ I ask what did you hear? Scott smacks his hands together. I go, what was that. His reply: 'It was your butt slamming shut before your double Axel.’ I'm not joking.

Bruce Jenner

These damn short skaters. First of all I just want to say I am so humbled here this evening. Being inducted into the WFSHF for the greatest performance on skates in the shortest amount of time – its just a great honour you know with the likes of Kristi Yamaguchi, Dick Button…

I was once asked to do the show “Celebrities on Ice." Scott and I were on the golf course and I asked him, ‘What do you think, should I do this show?’

And Scott goes: "Well I tell you what, we really need big names to do this show and I am not a big enough name to do the show. We are talking prime time – 20 million people – I can’t do it all by myself. I’m not a big enough man, I’m not a good enough athlete. We need big names and good athletes. Bruce you gotta’ do it."

The other day, I walked into the grocery store and I look over and there is his picture on a carton of milk. I was amazed. It was condensed milk. Scott Hamilton always well-groomed with never a hair out of place.

In fact, speaking of that – for the last three years Scott is the champion in the state turtleneck sweater pull off competition.

Knowing I was coming here this evening, I thought I better do my research. I wondered what did his high school friends think about him? So I went to his high school and I found his yearbook. You know how they put the ideal senior in the back of the yearbook? Scott was nominated in two categories.

In fact, he was picked most likely to succeed if someone loaned him a lot of money. Secondly, he was also most likely to be treated like a vet. I don’t know what that means but I thought it was cute.

Scott went on to all those things – the Olympics, TV, movies – in fact, did you know, that one time he did a totally nude scene in a movie and it still got a G rating?

One day we were on the golf course and I look up and there is the Taj of skating [Scott’s house] and Scott out front trying to fly a kite. I drive my golf cart over and there is a nice little breeze going and the kite is flying along and suddenly the wind starts whipping up and the kite starts flipping over and over.

As you know, we are all getting a little older – Scott and I were at an antique auction the other day and Scott got four bids on him.


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